I Hate Gay Culture

This is something I've wanted to share for some time now, and I've been going cross-eyed most of the day working on client projects in a mad rush because apparently, I don't know what "calm the fuck down" means, and I'm feeling particularly wordy so I figured I might as well.

I hate gay culture in the United States.

I was reminded of my disdain for it when I logged into Facebook earlier, and noticed that based on what I've typed in under "Sexual Orientation" on my profile, the entire right-hand column of advertisements were gay themed. I think it's great that homosexuality is steadily gaining more acceptance and normality in the media. I also understand why companies want to cater to that particular demographic (even if only for monetary reasons); gays make up a good chunk of the U.S. populace. It's a profitable market. You know what they say, One in Ten and all.

What I cannot stand is the blatant and very obvious need for a good majority of my gay peers to stand out against their heterosexual counterparts. I've always held the opinion that the only thing gay culture does is to further ostracize us from the rest of society. With that said, I do think it's a good thing to have some level of attainable exposure to gay culture. When you come out of the closet, you don't know the first fucking thing about what that really means in relation to your life, so it's good to have something to compare it to. It's also amazing that so many support groups and organizations to build alliances between gays and straights exist, because I've heard some unbelievably sad and even horrific stories of disownment, electro-shock therapy, and even suicide in coming out stories.

At the same time, and unfortunately, gay culture is often portrayed as endless strings of dirty bars of mindless half-naked Britney drones dancing the night away hopped up on Special K or poppers. So, sometimes it can be more a negative influence than a positive one.

Musician and fellow non-retarded homo Jay Brannan said it perfectly in one of his blog posts:

The thing is, is that it's all relative. It doesn't HAVE to mean anything in your life if that's how you want it. You don't HAVE to subscribe to someone elses idea of what being gay is, or what the media is telling you. Labels are for soup cans, Holmes.

My views have a lot to do with the way I was brought up. I've never once heard anything remotely homophobic out of my parents, and it's just never been a big deal. Live and let live. Who the fuck cares. I realize not everyone has it so great and not everyone has been as lucky as I have for the support I have, but that doesn't change the fact that ultimately, you are the only person who can decide what is for you.

It's not unusual for a group of repressed people to explode out and demand respect and attention after having been shoved under the rug for so long. It makes sense. And although I genuinely believe that actual discrimination is still a huge problem today, the fact is, is that it always will be. Discrimination will never go away 100%. It will always be present as long as someone else disagrees with how you live your life, so the sooner people learn how to stop caring what people think, the sooner it won't matter.

I've been through the gauntlet as far as discrimination goes. I've been mocked, spit on, called "faggot" more times than is humanly recountable, and even once had to yoke a kid up against a set of lockers to be left alone. I know what that feels like. I'm all too familiar with the pangs of hatred and humiliation and isolation and misery those things garner. Do I think it's acceptable behavior? Fuck no. Do I think people who participate in hate crime/discrimination/other ignorant bullshit should be castrated with a rusty screwdriver? Absolutely. The point is, is that unless someone has in some way, physically or otherwise, impeded on your basic human rights, shut the fuck up and live your life the way you want to live it. I believe that if your rights are genuinely impeded on for that reason, then fuck yeah, fight it to the death man. But it seems to me that a lot of my gay counterparts are creating their problems by discussing them before they've even ever happened.

I subscribe to several Youtube channels that deal entirely with gay culture, gay issues and equal rights. Why would I do this when I obviously disagree with the vast majority of the dribbling tripe that comes out of these people's mouths? Simple, entertainment value.

I can't tell you how many times I've seen videos wherein the author goes on ridiculous tirades about equality and acceptance and judgment and rights and intolerance and blah blah blah. I'm pretty sure the entire idea behind equal rights is being able to live like everyone else. I'm also pretty sure I do that every day.

It's hilarious to me that the government thinks it has ANY say in how I live my private life as a private citizen of this country. And as a result, it's even funnier that people get so worked up about it. I don't need a fucking government-sanctioned license to tell me that I'm "married." I don't need nor want the approval of my government regarding something that has NOTHING to do with them or anyone else.

To me, the GLBT community actually loses in the bigger picture by these fierce outrages. The fact that you let them believe they have control over you is WHY you're being controlled in the first place. Live your life. Get "married." Love freely. Be a fucking force of nature. Be bold, be flamouyant, be whatever the hell you want. But until someone physically prevents you from achieving your own happiness, shut the fuck up, pack up the parades, and don't bring it up in the first place.

I don't in any way condone verbal abuse or discrimination. But the fact of the matter is, and for lack of a better phrase, Sticks and Stones. Who the fuck cares about that kid who stalked you every day in high school with all of his friends, calling you "faggot" and harassing you endlessly? That kid? He now works at a gas station, and probably will for the rest of his life. In the larger picture, it simply doesn't matter unless you make it matter.

I'm a pretty low key guy. I'm just a guy who likes guys. It's not a big deal, because it's one aspect of who I am. But some of these people make it ALL of who they are, which is why a lot of these problems surface in the first place. I do believe everyone has the right to be who they are. The problem is, nobody else seems to understand this.

Sure, people talk about it. People say that exact phrase, but their actions don't reflect that attitude. I have the right to be who I am because that's how I choose to live. I don't need someone elses validation or acceptance or "tolerance" or whatever other bullshit nickname they're using these days for "not hurting your feelings."

Although harsh or abrasive this message may seem, the point of the entire thing is that nobody can limit you from living your life unless you give them the power to.