Workforce Woes

With the current instability of the market around my area and the general pile of ass the economy is these days, I’ve decided to re-enter the public workforce in addition to my freelance work.

I have applied at I don’t know how many web design firms. One of the most irritating aspects of web design firms, is that a lot of them require you to come into an office to design websites. Now, going somewhere other than my basement to go to work wouldn’t be a problem at all, if the job was something I couldn’t do IN my basement, wearing my pajamas. Like performing an advanced Carotid Endarterectomy. Or building a Rocket. The internet makes working half-naked with food in your hair entirely possible, which is why the freelance world is such a fast growing, competitive field. There’s a lot of perks in being your own boss. There is absolutely no reason that I would ever need to go into an office to have a meeting about a website I’m designing, when I could accomplish the same communication via email or telephone.

Not only would I save money on gas, not to mention the intense emotional stress of having to actually put on pants, but the employer would save money as well, especially in the long run. If I’m not sitting in a stupid cubicle somewhere, the energy required to light my area, power my computer and whatever other devices I have would be non existent. Not to mention things like Worker’s Compensation, liability, and probably a host of other shit I’m too tired to think of right now. So why are we doing this, hmm?

I’ve been lucky enough to gain a couple of prospective clients to carry me through until I do find a full time position in an office or at a firm or something, so I’m grateful for that. It’s still really frustrating. Even if the economy wasn’t as bad as it is, the entire selection process of choosing the best person to sit on their ass all day and do data entry and answer the telephone is ridiculous. Who honestly wouldn’t be able to handle that?

Because I’m young, it’s even more challenging to find that kind of position. Despite the fact that I’ve worked at a bank, an office, and I’ve owned my own freelance business for almost two years now, for some reason it’s assumed that I won’t be able to handle the stress of saving a document in Excel. I INVENTED Excel, motherfucker. Okay I didn’t obviously, because then I wouldn’t be looking for a receptionist job. But still, I know everything there is to know about working in an office environment, outside of niche-specific tasks that would take me an hour to learn anyway. So what. is. the problem. My 9 year old niece could handle the vast majority of clerical work that these middle-aged assholes place such important emphasis on.

I don’t even particularly WANT to work for a web design firm. I’d make a lot less money than I would if I had regular freelance projects, but it would be steady money. As opposed to Oops! Hope I don’t have to sell one of my kidneys this week! Let’s hope I don’t catch Swine Flu since I can’t afford health insurance!

What bothers me more is that the internet is still a relatively new medium, and it could be great. It could be, especially in regards to how people are employed to run it, but it isn’t. Google’s home page is simple because the original programmers didn’t know how to style it further via HTML and CSS, in their garage or basement or wherever the hell they invented it at. Two dudes who have the power to completely reinvent the way things happen, but instead choose to follow that same old PC Bullshit Human Resources Corporate Cocksucking that all the other major companies follow. Ebay, Yahoo!, Apple, you name it. It’s a little too sterile and Wal-Mart-y for me. I can see the need for some degree of this for major industries, but I think we can be a little more creative here, folks.

I guess everyone has to give the Corporate Cock a lil suckle until they can save up enough money to really start doing what they’re passionate about, in their own way. Unless your parents are stupid rich, in which case you begin the inevitable slide into being a complete waste of life instead of making something of yourself and really helping out with the resources you have. Hi, Paris? I’m looking at you, homegirl. Nothing is more grating to my patience than seeing a 16 year old driving a brand new Lexus when I can’t even afford a new lens. But I’m fucking impatient and I don’t want “everyone” to have to be “me.” I think a lot of the people in my generation feel this way. We’re all slightly lazy, and have serious patience issues because we grew up with the instant gratification of the constant innovation of new technology. I want my future to unfold now, and I don’t want to spend 10 years in a menial job in order to make it happen.

I guess a lot of it comes down to luck. Luck, and hard work. I have the hard work bit down pat, so I guess now it’s time to wait.